Sleeping with stars

Sleeping with stars
awaken thoughts in my heart.
Laying here,
I start to realize
how we relate so sensibly.

We are at peace
in the solace of our own silence.

We need not move—
happy within our far reaches.

We wait, ever so patiently
to be glanced upon.

The quilted constellations
ease these tired eyes.
May my dreams be carried
by wishes and prayers
tonight.

Asphalt River

Leaves scrape across the asphalt.

The sound of Summer,
a river of burnt memories,
course through the street.

Swirling…

…Churning…

…Ebbing
at the feet of the wind.

The embers look
as crisp as an autumn’s apple.

How I wish
I can toss a coin into the current
to bring some of those memories
back.

Paper Airplanes

I can’t remember the last time
I made a paper airplane.

Do you remember
how they each flew differently
but were folded the same?

Each crease of imagination
is what we thought made it fly.

I used to wonder
why mine
never went anywhere.

Perhaps the words I wrote on it
never had a destination.

Oh October…

Every decision I make isn’t based on what’s Right or Wrong. It’s about which one I’m willing to live with.

A scribble from 2019

So, I’m trying to get myself used to a new schedule.

I am a morning person—always have been since I was 15. But with Kai’s classes going on and everyone going about their day, I tried to balance recording my projects to no avail. In order to keep doing what I’m doing, the only solution to this problem is altering my schedule to the evenings.

Does it make a difference?
Most definitely!

For the past couple of nights, I have never heard such peaceful silence when I’m auditioning for voice acting roles or audiobooks. There are no lawn mowers or leaf blowers going. No cars going in and out. The neighbors’ dogs aren’t going batshit crazy over squirrels. Just…peace 😌

Needless to say, I think I found my window to work and still help Kai out when I’m needed.


This month marks my one whole year as an audiobook narrator/producer. Even though that’s big news, what’s really exciting is that this year starts my path to becoming a poet.

Thank you to everyone who read my poems 😊 Although I love hearing what people have to say about them, I decided to leave the Comments Disabled permanently. This eases the stress that some go through when they post their poetry up.

My goal isn’t to impress anyone or market myself. I just want to write poetry and eventually feel comfortable calling myself a poet 😁 It’s mainly for my own personal comfort.

To ease into this year and three-month long endeavor, I am currently writing and researching narrative poetry. This is one of my favorite forms to write in and decided to start this off with something I really enjoy. It’s my way of writing short stories without getting too much into detail. At the end of the month, I’ll share my findings and 3 of my best ones for you to read.


Sharing the Vibes
Here’s my favorite pin of the week!


I know that this journal entry is shorter than normal but I think I covered the important points I wanted to share with you. Don’t forget that I’ll be posting 3 poems after this 😊 I have them spread out in 15 minute intervals, it’s just an old habit I grew to love.

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great weekend!

~John

Picturing Poetry

I find my worth
in the scattered words I don’t say.

Neurotically patient,
I pick and choose what fits best—
hoping each jumbled image turns out.

There are days
where I am so close to completion,
I can only find satisfaction
after rearranging them again.

With silence
timing my every move,
I can see why people say,
“some things are better
left unsaid.”

Too bad…
I don’t give up that easily.

Locket

I have a special locket,
naked to the all-seeing eye.
It beats against my chest—
reminding me how devoted I am
to a delusionary dream.

The contents within remain unknown.
Perhaps there’s a smile or a note
I haven’t seen yet.
What I hope for,
I know isn’t there.

Though I call it my own,
I can’t risk letting it go.

It’s my only locket—
one I don’t care to open anymore.

Those who get close,
never really notice it.

What if I can share it?

Can I even open it again?

If I do,
the feelings I had for her
will be freed.

Will I be able to trade it
for something better?

I can’t do that.

What does it matter?

I carry this special locket,
naked to the eye and seen
only by me.

I keep it close,
never letting it go
to share it with the world.

Just not ready

I write out what I would’ve said but didn’t.
Even while editing my mistakes, I still show no commitment.
I stare at what I have
like watching stagnant grains falling from an hourglass.

I’m not ready,
I’m just not ready—
ready for another love story.

Outline after outline,
I’m not yet satisfied with the playwright.
I’m stuck with writer’s block that I can’t dispel.
The words are there! But I can’t tell.

I’m not ready
I’m just not ready—
ready for another love story.

Flawed were our characters with personal subplots.
Focusing on mine, I never gave yours any thought.
We were supposed to fill these pages
but I was too afraid to take the stage.

I’m not ready
I’m just not ready—
ready for another love story.

For now, I’ll call it another day,
rehearsing the words you never heard me say,
May the moon and stars watch over you.”
Find the love you truly deserve,
it’s what your character would do.

I’m not ready
I’m just not ready—
ready for another love story.

Positivity had to sit out last week

“It takes devotion to stay composed man…”

Lyrics from NEFFEX’s Best of Me

After a week of being down and out from the seasonal change and some minor mishaps, things have finally settled back to normal. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the power of positivity but sometimes…you either have to glove-up and charge hard or grab a blanket and plot your comeback. In this case, I chose to mumble my favorite vulgar words while accepting my demise.

Jake embodied how I looked and felt

Okay, so last Sunday I was more grumpy than normal because I wasn’t feeling well—I was totally wearing my diva pants. It was so bad to the point where I didn’t even care to drink coffee for two days—strange, I know 🤨. I sort of felt bad for Kai having to deal with a man-baby…sort of. But he too was having his own issues.

Poor kid fell from my hammock chair (aka: my hanging nest) and scraped the right side near his eye. Nothing a little cleaning couldn’t fix though. Plus, it gives him a little character 😆 The real test was him trying to figure out how to get his Chromebook back online after our internet went down. He managed to get through and with all these little inconveniences, both he and I are glad that we can move forward.

Anyway, on to more positive things! 😁😎


I added a new page to the site, “Poetry Album.”  😊😁

Now, I know that I have been trying to stay away from writing poetry due to personal insecurities and beliefs in the medium. But I always manage to go back to what helps me the most—poetry.

Personally, I write poetry to help me remember things. That’s why calling it my “Poetry Album” seems to fit what I’m aiming for 😊

Since I’m getting back into it, I wanted to challenge myself a little. This is more of a personal goal but you are more than welcomed to try it for yourself if you’d like.

In total, there are roughly 15 distinct styles of poetry writing. My goal is to write in one style for a whole month to test my creativity and to learn what that style has to offer. I know by doing this, it’ll take me a year and three months to complete. Hopefully by the start of 2022, I can graduate from being a poetry enthusiast to feeling comfortable calling myself a poet—at least in my eyes and heart.

Is it a big undertaking?

Umm…yeah.

Can I do it?

I’ll never know until I try.

Along with this endeavor, I will be posting my poems with the Comments Disabled. The reason is simple, I just want you to enjoy it for what it’s worth and nothing more. No obligation to leave a comment or whatever.

My hope for each one is to finally let go of the parts of me I held onto for so long and to show you how I see the world around me. Again, it will be a mixture of so many things along with some experimental ideas (or what I call my “hybrid” writing).

So, my path to becoming a poet starts this month. I hope that you’ll check in, once in a while, to read what I have to give. And like before, if you like it then you like it. If you don’t, then you don’t.

In my honest opinion, I think the poem should impact and affect the reader more than its creator.


Sharing the Vibes

One of my favorite pins when I have doubts in my creative abilities.

Don’t forget to smile like it’s going out of style!

~John

An Audio Collaboration and My other life Online

The strength in a smile shows me how much a person has endured in their life

Taken from a conversation I had with my mom

It’s been quiet on the work front and I’ve been on the fence as to whether or not I should start posting poetry again. But with the weather being nice and cold in the mornings, I think scribbling down some ideas works out just fine 😊☕

So, I was checking my email earlier in the week and saw one from a writer who I collaborated with before on Jar of Poetry. Secret (from SecretThoughtsWithin) reached out to ask for an opinion on her piece, “Slowly.” She recorded it and was a little nervous posting it up on her page.

I remembered how nervous I was when I began posting my audio. That thought crossed my mind when I read her email. With time on my hands, I recorded the same poem and sent her my rendition of it—you know, using my imagination and voice.

After a couple of messages of how nervous we were about our interpretations, we agreed it would be a great idea to showcase both versions because it does bring awareness to individuality and how we use our personal experiences to give life to the same poem.

Secret’s motivation was a straightforward conversation type—she admitted she was really nervous 😂

I imagined slow dancing and whispering those words to the person I was dancing with.

If you would like to hear our versions, here’s the link to our audio collab Slowly

Please be kind and “Like” it if you do.

And please don’t make fun of me for trying to sound ‘seductive’, okay? 🤣 Believe it or not, I do get a little embarrassed and this was my most provocative read I’ve done so far.


So…remember how I gave up on taking pictures because I’m clumsy with expensive things? Johnny Boy came up with a way around this flaw of mine 😁 Let me introduce you to my other life online.

*Warning: Gamer Alert


Yes, I’m 35 and playing videogames is still one of my hobbies. It helps me escape the monotony of everyday and it’s also how I fuel my creativity. If I didn’t scare you away yet, keep reading or you can just look at the pictures.

I decided to take on my photography adventure in one of my favorite games, Minecraft Java Edition.

This is modded—meaning it’s a modified version of the original game. My graphics card (NVIDIA MX150) isn’t the strongest but it gets the job done that I want it to do. I have OPTIFINE 1.16.3 installed with a Shaders pack from BSL as well.

I think it’s best to just show you 🤣 I may get stuck rambling on some other things.

This is where I spawned in the world before I built my house. If you look closely, you can see my shadow on the lower left side, somewhere toward the middle!


My goal for the game isn’t to beat it anymore—I’ve done it enough times to prove my worth. Being that this is a Sandbox game, an anything-goes kind of thing, I thought it would be fun to travel Minecraft as a photographer and take pictures of the mobs (monsters) and the biomes I travel to. What will make this difficult for me is doing this on Survival Mode.

In other words, the creatures can kick my ass and I have a tendency to not pay attention to my surroundings.

Here are the pictures from the first day:

I was surveying the area before taking this nice little landscape picture.

Like the seasoned adventurer I am, I went out gathering resources like stone, wood, and…umm. Let’s just say the sheep you see here…yeah…they are no longer there anymore. 😕

With the house finished and sort of furnished, I was thinking about adding a deck extending out into the little river.

My first Mob Pic! This zombie shot was taken from inside my house at night.

I caught these spiders in their natural habitat. Again, taken from the safety of my house.

After building the deck, I decided to bask in the sunset. That’s what my character looks like in the game.

Shortly after taking that shot from the deck, I was messing around with one of the railings…and I fell in the water 😂🤣 I didn’t mean to but it gave me this nice shot.


This is how I will spend my downtime when I don’t have any work projects or helping Kai out with his school work. I may just start another blog, solely dedicated to this series 🤔


Sharing the Vibes

This is one of my favorite songs from Kolohe Kai that I heard when I had my playlist on Random. It has a special message and is worth sharing to anyone in need of a pick-me-up. The music video brings awareness to domestic violence. But as a writer and poetry enthusiast, the lyrics are what caught my attention. Hope is something people are running short on nowadays.

So, whatever you’re going through or if you know someone going through some private hardships, I hope this song gives you/them the needed strength to keep pushing forward.

I know you don’t know me IRL but still, it never hurts to spread the positive vibes, yeah? 😉😊


Have a great weekend! And I wish you the best for the coming week 😊😁🌴🤙🌺

John

A Cheesecake, a Decade, and a side of Nonsense

Time is the only thing I can hold onto when I’m writing

A scribble from 2015

This week has been a very big one for Kai. With his classes having officially started back on Tuesday, I have never seen him so happy to being do school work again—what a weirdo, right? We struggled a bit getting him started but we managed to work out a new routine and schedule for him to have. Now that he is set, I can retreat back to the comfort of my makeshift sound booth (my happy padded place). At least Rayne kept me company in the living room the whole time when Kai was in his zone 😊😸

Rayne and I chillin’ while Kai works on his assignments.

On Thursday, we celebrated Kai’s 10th birthday! My spawn is 10!!! I asked him how he felt about it—you know, getting a ‘little’ emotional and shit—and you know what that manifestation said?!

“Meh…it’s alright, I guess. When does the pizza get here?” 🙄🤦‍♂️

I have to hand it to him though, he chose cheesecake instead of a birthday cake. My ex still bought him one but he enjoyed the strawberry cheesecake a lot more (that’s my boy 😭).

His mom and him love this game so damn much. I…I just don’t get it 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️ It does look nice though

Wow…a decade old. Not only is this a reminder of how long he has been a part of my life but also the fact that I have been discharged from the military too. I’ll save this story for October but it’s just weird to think it was that long ago.


After having so much fun with my raspy voice, needless to say—I recovered.

I do have permission from Jason to post his audiobook cover, so here it is 😁

Not yet available

Although my voice acting roles are small, I find audiobooks to be more my thing. I love reading Bio & Memoirs and Self Development books. To me, I like being able to just talk and relate on a personal level instead of making it boring like the PowerPoint presentations we have all sat through (Did I just age myself even more? Meh…it’ll be fine.)

I also find it interesting to “live” someone else’s life and tell their story. The only example I have to use is Dirk Foster’s The Sober Journey series.

Being able to tell someone’s story or to help someone find it within themselves to be better is worth it to me. If this is all I have to contribute to the literary world, then so be it. And just like writing, whether in a journal or other formats like poetry, someone out there in the world will give you their time to read/listen to you. It may be ordinary or dull to you but you’d be surprised how many think the same of themselves.

Sorry…I got a little too inspirational there! 🤣😜


Sharing the Vibes

Real quick story.

My best friend and I have been emailing each other and despite how informal we make it out to be, we tend to be very conscientious when we write. I guess auto correct had a mind of its own and decided to throw us both off by switching the word ‘So‘ with ‘Sparklers‘ in one of their sentences—stupid auto correct.

My brain read the word as ‘Sparkles‘ (totally off-base there Johnny Boy). So, I spent a good minute or so trying to use Sparkles in different ways to make that sentence, make sense.

I get a quick ‘Edit‘ email correcting the mistake. The fact I knew I was going to get this email made the situation even funnier to me! 😂 I mean, I didn’t even read the mistake correctly in the first place and there I was, seriously deep in thought, trying to use the word Sparkles in a sentence! Once I caught my breath from laughing, I kept my mistake and what happened to myself…you know, trying to play it cool.

Anyway, I was browsing through Pinterest and found Phteven under funny pictures or something.

I LOST MY DAMN MIND when I ran into this pin! I was crying from laughing so hard!!! 🤣 I…I…can’t even! Everything about this is too funny to even type about 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Girl, I need me some Spharkles! 😂🤣

*Whew…okay.

I composed myself—just don’t look at the Pin Johnny Boy.

Here’s to your weekend being a relaxing one and may all of next week be in your favor 😊

Take care and smile like you’re going to destroy some cheesecake! It’s what I’m going to do for breakfast 😁😈😜

John